Tuesday, March 16, 2004
Spring Break reading
It's spring break (here, anyway), so I brought out my favorite spring break book, which I've been writing about all week anyway. And along the way I found a couple other interesting books with fun covers, too. So here they are.
"Glendon Swarthout's snaky new novel about the lizardy college kids who live it up in Florida each and every Spring."
"Life is like a long blind date. The Social Chairman of a boys' dorm calls the Social Chairman of a girls' dorm and says he needs some flesh for Friday night, no foul balls, nothing too brainy, all queens and amenable, can she supply? And she says yes, she can, but what about the boys, the girls will want vital data and stuff. To which he snorts what for, they'll be seminal, and hangs up. You are some of the flesh supplied. You wonder what the boy will be like, what will happen on the date, where you'll go, what you'll do, will it be great or the all-time fall-through, and Friday night you tear around like wild getting ready to be beautiful. The buzzer rings. You make an entrance and meet him. You go somewhere and do something. Maybe you have a real ball, maybe it's hell, maybe both. But no matter what, before you can really know each other, you and life or you and your date, you've mingled or said no and it's over."
"This is not going to be one of those Riviera-go-rounds by smutty little girls. What's immoral about them is that they don't enjoy either writing or bedding. Or one of those campus comedies in which the kids listen to jazz all day and mattress all night and never go to class. Most kids do go to class. But I admit sex is very important in a book today. You watch the people in a bookstore or by the paperbacks in a drug store, turning the pages with that bored yet hunting expression. They are not looking for literature. If I'm anything, it's realistic. To be read you have to heat it up. So if this book is ever published and you are someday browsing around in a bookstore or drug store I hereby announce that the sex in it will be found exclusively on pp. 16-17, 41, 110-114, 160, 163-165, 199, 242-248, and 311. Also pp. 74-78 and 219 and 331. So if sex is what you happen to be interested in you may turn at once to these pages and save your money but if you are deeply concerned about such crucial topics as The Influence of Walt Disney on Religion, Large Families, Education, Virginity, The High IQ, Faith, The Luck of Henry Thoreau, Stimulation, How Society Makes It Tough for Kids, Love, etc., and a slew more, and would also like to read an account of what is probably the most gallant and selfless and inspirational deed ever attempted by young people, at least in this era, buy the book.
"I want serious readers, not a bunch of BB-stackers."
--From Where the Boys Are, by Glendon Swarthout
I just love this book. Long run-on sentences, nonsensical semicolons (although that's explained), Midwestern co-eds, Ivy League talent, sibilant underwater chorus girls, revolutionaries, beatniks, jazz musicians, and TV Thompson (I had noticed that there was a character in this book by the same name as my favorite childhood character--well, one of them, anyway--but until this week thought it was a coincidence).
Oh, and BTW, did you know that "nerd" used to be spelled with a U? It's true. It used to be nurd.
# # #
"Me, Gidget, in the Eternal City! Roma, I call it, like the natives do. It was full of ancient masonry, fettucine, vino, fountains, moonlight--and Jeff and me..." -- Gidget Goes to Rome, by Frederick Kohner
To tell you the truth, the story on this one is negligible. As far as I can remember, I've never even been able to make it through the book. I've tried the original Gidget also, and find Kohner's writing style completely incomprehensible; Swarthout had a gift for making it sound like it was written by a teenager without making it sound like it was... well... written by a teenager.
What gets me about this particular book is the picture. First of all, take a look at the caption underneath the picture:
That's right. Cindy Carol. Blond ingenue who went on to star in... one other movie. But does this picture:
...look like a Cindy to you? Not only is that not a Cindy, I don't think it's even a female. And yet, I'm equally certain that it's not Ms. Carol's co-star in Gidget Goes to Rome, my favorite guy of the 60s, my Moondoggie, James Darren* (more recently of Deep Space Nine fame). So who is this Guyget? I don't know.
*I'm only two degrees of separation away from Moondoggie. My college roommate knew him, due to the fact that her father was kind of a celebrity in the 50s and 60s and they ran in the same post-Rat Pack group of young celebrities. One thing I never expected to hear from my freshman-year roommate was "James Darren? I know him." "James Darren, from the Gidget movies?" "Yeah, my dad goes out on his yacht with him sometimes." I don't even remember how it came up in conversation. It seems like an odd topic for a couple of 18-year-olds in the mid-80s, doesn't it?
# # #
"Lois turned to Steve. Her eyes were hard and unforgiving. 'There must be a less shocking project you can work on.'
'I can't leave this one in the middle,' Steve replied. 'I've wasted too many years. I have to finish it to get my Ph.D.'
Professor Addison came to his protege's defense. He wished his daughter were less bound by convention. 'I persuaded Steve to return to teaching.' He paused, 'But I think it's time you see this anonymous letter, Steve. It says corruption among college students is a lie; that our kids are good kids. At least they were until Steve Macinter came along.'
'Steve,' Lois blurted out. 'I want to give up this dangerous project which people are interpreting in the worst possible way!''
'There are people who misinterpret democracy too.' Steve retorted. 'Is that a reason to give it up?'
Lois was rigid now. 'How dare you compare your dirty project with democracy!'" -- College Confidential, by Irving Shulman
Wow. What can I say after that? Except that if you think you've seen this movie, and you think it starred Annette Funicello... aha! You're wrong! That was Beach Party, the first in the famed series of movies, in which an anthropologist studies the dating habits of teenagers on the beach. This one starred Mamie Van Doren (as you can see by the cover of the book), Steve Allen, and Jayne Meadows. And the guy who's studying the teenagers is a college professor, not an anthropologist. Big difference, you know.
It's spring break (here, anyway), so I brought out my favorite spring break book, which I've been writing about all week anyway. And along the way I found a couple other interesting books with fun covers, too. So here they are.
"Glendon Swarthout's snaky new novel about the lizardy college kids who live it up in Florida each and every Spring."
"Life is like a long blind date. The Social Chairman of a boys' dorm calls the Social Chairman of a girls' dorm and says he needs some flesh for Friday night, no foul balls, nothing too brainy, all queens and amenable, can she supply? And she says yes, she can, but what about the boys, the girls will want vital data and stuff. To which he snorts what for, they'll be seminal, and hangs up. You are some of the flesh supplied. You wonder what the boy will be like, what will happen on the date, where you'll go, what you'll do, will it be great or the all-time fall-through, and Friday night you tear around like wild getting ready to be beautiful. The buzzer rings. You make an entrance and meet him. You go somewhere and do something. Maybe you have a real ball, maybe it's hell, maybe both. But no matter what, before you can really know each other, you and life or you and your date, you've mingled or said no and it's over."
"This is not going to be one of those Riviera-go-rounds by smutty little girls. What's immoral about them is that they don't enjoy either writing or bedding. Or one of those campus comedies in which the kids listen to jazz all day and mattress all night and never go to class. Most kids do go to class. But I admit sex is very important in a book today. You watch the people in a bookstore or by the paperbacks in a drug store, turning the pages with that bored yet hunting expression. They are not looking for literature. If I'm anything, it's realistic. To be read you have to heat it up. So if this book is ever published and you are someday browsing around in a bookstore or drug store I hereby announce that the sex in it will be found exclusively on pp. 16-17, 41, 110-114, 160, 163-165, 199, 242-248, and 311. Also pp. 74-78 and 219 and 331. So if sex is what you happen to be interested in you may turn at once to these pages and save your money but if you are deeply concerned about such crucial topics as The Influence of Walt Disney on Religion, Large Families, Education, Virginity, The High IQ, Faith, The Luck of Henry Thoreau, Stimulation, How Society Makes It Tough for Kids, Love, etc., and a slew more, and would also like to read an account of what is probably the most gallant and selfless and inspirational deed ever attempted by young people, at least in this era, buy the book.
"I want serious readers, not a bunch of BB-stackers."
--From Where the Boys Are, by Glendon Swarthout
I just love this book. Long run-on sentences, nonsensical semicolons (although that's explained), Midwestern co-eds, Ivy League talent, sibilant underwater chorus girls, revolutionaries, beatniks, jazz musicians, and TV Thompson (I had noticed that there was a character in this book by the same name as my favorite childhood character--well, one of them, anyway--but until this week thought it was a coincidence).
Oh, and BTW, did you know that "nerd" used to be spelled with a U? It's true. It used to be nurd.
# # #
"Me, Gidget, in the Eternal City! Roma, I call it, like the natives do. It was full of ancient masonry, fettucine, vino, fountains, moonlight--and Jeff and me..." -- Gidget Goes to Rome, by Frederick Kohner
To tell you the truth, the story on this one is negligible. As far as I can remember, I've never even been able to make it through the book. I've tried the original Gidget also, and find Kohner's writing style completely incomprehensible; Swarthout had a gift for making it sound like it was written by a teenager without making it sound like it was... well... written by a teenager.
What gets me about this particular book is the picture. First of all, take a look at the caption underneath the picture:
That's right. Cindy Carol. Blond ingenue who went on to star in... one other movie. But does this picture:
...look like a Cindy to you? Not only is that not a Cindy, I don't think it's even a female. And yet, I'm equally certain that it's not Ms. Carol's co-star in Gidget Goes to Rome, my favorite guy of the 60s, my Moondoggie, James Darren* (more recently of Deep Space Nine fame). So who is this Guyget? I don't know.
*I'm only two degrees of separation away from Moondoggie. My college roommate knew him, due to the fact that her father was kind of a celebrity in the 50s and 60s and they ran in the same post-Rat Pack group of young celebrities. One thing I never expected to hear from my freshman-year roommate was "James Darren? I know him." "James Darren, from the Gidget movies?" "Yeah, my dad goes out on his yacht with him sometimes." I don't even remember how it came up in conversation. It seems like an odd topic for a couple of 18-year-olds in the mid-80s, doesn't it?
# # #
"Lois turned to Steve. Her eyes were hard and unforgiving. 'There must be a less shocking project you can work on.'
'I can't leave this one in the middle,' Steve replied. 'I've wasted too many years. I have to finish it to get my Ph.D.'
Professor Addison came to his protege's defense. He wished his daughter were less bound by convention. 'I persuaded Steve to return to teaching.' He paused, 'But I think it's time you see this anonymous letter, Steve. It says corruption among college students is a lie; that our kids are good kids. At least they were until Steve Macinter came along.'
'Steve,' Lois blurted out. 'I want to give up this dangerous project which people are interpreting in the worst possible way!''
'There are people who misinterpret democracy too.' Steve retorted. 'Is that a reason to give it up?'
Lois was rigid now. 'How dare you compare your dirty project with democracy!'" -- College Confidential, by Irving Shulman
Wow. What can I say after that? Except that if you think you've seen this movie, and you think it starred Annette Funicello... aha! You're wrong! That was Beach Party, the first in the famed series of movies, in which an anthropologist studies the dating habits of teenagers on the beach. This one starred Mamie Van Doren (as you can see by the cover of the book), Steve Allen, and Jayne Meadows. And the guy who's studying the teenagers is a college professor, not an anthropologist. Big difference, you know.
permalink posted by The Vintage Reader @ 7:28 PM 
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